Every person striving for success understands that being prepared for an opportunity is generally where you should concentrate most of your focus. No one desires to be caught unprepared if an opportunity is at hand. The lack of preparation for a project, event, or even relationships usually produces mediocre results.

Despite great expectation for personal success, when it comes to experiencing relationships very little attention is given to preparing for successful ones.  We haphazardly enter into relational covenants with each other, bringing with us wrong view points and improper motives concerning what each party must bring to the relationship.  Is it wrong to have high expectations for a successful relationship? Not at all, but the expectation without proper preparation can be detrimental to the expected outcome.

Most people choose relationships such as friendships, places of employment, recreational groups, churches, etcetera, because of the personal benefits that participating in these relationships will bring to them.  Little thought is given to what each of these relationships will require of the individuals entering them.

 The bible gives us a picture of relationships in the form of covenants. The New Testament defines the word covenant as a contract; a binding agreement between two or more persons or parties. Covenants are entered based on differences with one party’s strength covering the other’s weakness, and vice-a-versa. With this in mind, as we choose to enter into relationships, we are agreeing to fulfill our part of the covenant by presenting our strengths and submitting our weaknesses to the other party.  A constant fulfillment of our covenant role will give life to the relationship and ensure its success. Given this model, it seems that we can all experience successful and fulfilling relationships if we are willing to put more emphasis on our personal responsibilities in the covenant, rather than focusing on what the other person is doing, or not doing, as may be the case.  

Change begins with you!  If there is tension or disagreement in your relationships, the tendency is to focus on what the other person or party needs to do in order to restore harmony. This approach will never bring you the results you seek.  You can’t change people.  You can, however, influence anyone to change their actions. The bible confirms this in several places:

 Proverbs 15: 1 tells us that a soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.

 1 Peter 3: 1-2 lets us know that a wife can win-over an unbelieving husband based on the chaste lifestyle she leads.

 1 Corinthians 15: 33 states that evil communications corrupt good manners.

In these three scriptures alone, we see that the actions of one person can bring about change in the other party.  

Your actions have influence!